Last night I went to the opening night of J.Cole’s Fall Off Tour by my Self.

The stars aligned and I just happened to be in Charlotte for an AAU tournament with Roman, J. Cole has the first two nights of his tour in Charlotte, and an Instagram post yesterday morning made me aware of the concert.

I asked Roman if he wanted to go with me since his only game today wasn’t until later in the afternoon, so a late night wouldn’t affect his play. He said no.

I immediately thought that I would go by my Self, but then I had second thoughts.

What if Roman needed me?
Was it selfish to go to the concert alone?
Should I use the free evening, since Roman would be with his teammates all night, to do some writing, edit a couple of podcasts, and work on the AlignedLife Community?

Funny, I didn’t think twice about going alone; I guess at this stage of life I don’t care what the people around me think about a 44-year-old white guy alone at a J. Cole concert. It only came to my attention when Roman brought up what others might think.

If you’ve seen my Instagram feed today, you know I went to the concert—I’m going to write an Omen about it later to share how much I enjoyed it.

This morning as I was reflecting on the night, I realized one of the reasons I enjoyed my Self so much was because I was alone. That might sound selfish, like I wouldn’t want to share the experience with others, but stay with me—plus, I will be sharing the experience when Ang and I go to see him in Chicago later this summer.

I’ve enjoyed my Self at other concerts with friends and family, but last night I never had to worry about whether the other person was enjoying it. I didn’t realize it at the other concerts, but I don’t think I was fully able to get into the concert because I was checking (visually) on the people I was at the show with and in some cases feeling bad because I knew they weren’t enjoying the show as much as I was—the only exception as seeing Pusha T in Atlanta with my friend Sam because I KNEW he as enjoying it just as much as I was.

So, the selflessness of wanting others to have a good time in the past impacted my ability to enjoy concerts at the highest level.

Last night I had no one to worry about. I could fully immerse myself in the music and connect with the songs I love so much, and also connect with J. Cole as he performed them.

It was such an amazing experience.

I’m not saying I’m going to make it a habit to go to concerts alone. But I’m also no longer going to miss a concert I want to go to because I don’t have anyone to go with—those are the concerts I should probably go to alone anyway.

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See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,

JC