self-imposed limitations


Are you subconsciously keeping your Self from reaching your true potential?

I had a great conversation yesterday with a younger financial advisor, and we discussed his firm's vision, goals, and obstacles that might stand in the way. One of his closing questions was about what advice I would give him as he headed into the new year.

I brought him back to a number he shared with me—the income he wanted to get to so he could feel like he could live comfortably. I told him that number was too low and that he was limiting his Self by focusing on that number.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to know your income needs, but focusing on that number makes you risk only getting to it. I know how he came up with his income goal—he looked at his expenses, added a buffer, and arrived at his number.

I told him that he would get to whatever number he chose to focus on, so why not choose a number twice or three times the amount he told me?

There could be underlying money stories that also contributed to why he settled on the original number he shared with me. Those may need to be addressed before he can give his Self permission to focus on a larger number—I only got to spend an hour with him, and we didn’t dive deep into his relationship with money. But by sticking with his initial number, subconsciously, he will do the work representative of that number–meaning, he will do what he needs to do to arrive at that income, which is way below his potential.

Not only will he be shortchanging his Self by missing the opportunity to have more money to do good things, but he’d also miss out on the opportunity to help more people with his work and the firm he is building. If he focused on a larger number, he’d do the work necessary to arrive at that income, which would require helping more people.

I left that call thinking about ways I might be limiting my Self by focusing on my version of a “number too low.”

This phenomenon of limiting ourselves is not only seen in money.

Any goal you have is an opportunity to focus on a level that is too low for you.

For example, I’m focused on selling out the Fishers Event Center in five years for a Keep Pursuing Event; am I limiting my Self by not focusing on selling out Gainbridge Fieldhouse (where the Pacers play) or even Lucas Oil Stadium (where the Colts play)?

I don’t know—maybe I am.

But, I do know that my goal of Fishers Event Center makes me very uncomfortable, which tells me it’s the right size, and when I think of my new friend’s income goal, I don’t get the feeling it made him uncomfortable, which tells me it wasn’t large enough.

There are many reasons why we place self-imposed limitations on our Selves, but that’s a Note for another day and maybe even an episode of LifeDesign+ if I could find the right professional to talk about the psychology of self-imposed limitations (if you know someone, please connect me!).

Are you holding your Self back from fully embracing your authentic Self and potential by setting your sights too low?

It’s an interesting exercise, if you can be honest with your Self. Give it a try.

🎧 Listen to today's Note on the LifeDesign+ podcast.


See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,

JC

connect spirit, mind, body, and money w/ Justin Castelli

I'm on a mission to help more people find and live their authentic life. Check out my Daily Notes where I write a short note each day about the connection of spirit, mind, body and money on the Pursuit of your authentic life.

Read more from connect spirit, mind, body, and money w/ Justin Castelli

“A simple idea that’s too often neglected. To appreciate you. For all you’ve gone through and all you’ve become. For all the fears you’ve faced and found freedom from. For the dreams you now only dreamed but had the bravery to make real. For all the people you’ve helped and for all the food you have done. You matter more than you know. So please do not measure your worthiness by what the majority tells you that you should be, do and have.” - Robin Sharma This might be the greatest...

“It is not death that a man should fear, but never beginning to live.” -Marcus Aurelius Only you know whether you are really living. My definition of living is hardly the standard everyone should use, but if you’re reading this Note, I think you’ll agree and know where I’m heading. Living a life that is not true to you–not authentic to you–is not living, at least not fully living. Yes, waking up each morning, existing, getting through the day, and maybe finding a little time to do something...

Tonight is the college football National Championship game between Indiana University (my wife’s alma mater) and the University of Miami. While we’ll be watching the game and rooting for the Hoosiers, I’m more interested in seeing what happens after the game with the coaching staff at IU–particularly the offensive and defensive coordinators. I’m sure both are already being courted by programs to leave IU to become head coaches, which will lead both men to reflect on what they want–what is...