This morning, I finally read an email from a close friend announcing a major milestone for his business. I’ve had the opportunity to sit back and watch him build–and build, being a great example of someone living his authentic life; I can’t wait to have him on LifeDesign+ to share his story.

At the end of my response to him, I told him I was excited for him and loved him.

Society has taught men to say everything but those words to each other, and it has only been within the last year that I’ve felt comfortable telling my closest guy friends that I love them. These are men who I consider to be brothers, know more about me than everyone except for Ang, and I have love for them. Yet, in the past, there were times I felt compelled to tell them how much they mean to me and the important roles they play in my life, but I held back because I didn’t know how they’d receive the love and if I’m honest, it felt a little weird. Looking back, I think part of it has been the conditioning of what I’m supposed to say to male friends, and I also think part of it was not understanding what love really is. I also think it is hitting a stage in life where I just don’t care–if my sharing my love with others makes someone uncomfortable, that’s on them, not me.

Love is a feeling.
Love is an emotion.
Love is a behavior.

But love is also so much more–it is one of the highest levels of consciousness, at least according to Dr. David Hawkins.

I’ve done a lot of reading and listening this past year on spirituality, consciousness, paths to enlightenment, and religion; the thread that connects them all is love. They all come back to love being the highest level of respect and the most important thing we can give to each other. If we could all operate from a frequency of love, I can only imagine how much better of a place the world would be.

I’d love to see the world elevate to operating from a state of love. While I feel there is a universal shift higher for many people, the truth is we have a long way to go before everyone is operating from love.

One of the many reasons, and possibly the most significant contributor, we are so far away from a Universal state of love is that too many people don’t love their Selves.

You can’t love others if you don’t love your Self.

When you love your Self, imperfections and all, it becomes easier to love others because they no longer reflect things you don’t like about your Self. I’ll never forget when a friend told me a few years back that the reason we don’t like people is because that person is acting as a mirror, showing us something we don’t like about our Self. We think it’s them, but it’s really our Self we don’t like. There are few people in this world whom I genuinely dislike (I’m not proud that there are any), and whenever I am reminded of my disdain for them, I always try to figure out what it is about them that is a reflection of me causing those feelings.

So, if you want to love more, you must start with loving your Self.

Loving your Self does not mean you believe you are perfect; we will never be perfect. Instead, it means you understand, accept, and work on your imperfections—even love them. When your imperfections are no longer insecurities, you will not be triggered by them when you see them reflected by others. So, instead of being angry at the person acting as your mirror, you can love them just as you love your Self; you no longer hate the parts of your Self that you see in that person and don’t have to direct your negative feelings toward your Self at them.

You love your Self, and you can love them.

I won’t claim to know the best way for you to begin loving your Self more. I’m still learning my Self—remember, there are people I despise like Kendrick Lamar does Drake. So, I’m no expert. But, I do believe moving closer to your authentic Self is a great way to begin loving your Self more—it’s done wonders for me.

When you show up as the person you were created to be, there is less discontentment and frustration that manifest in negative beliefs about your Self. It’s hard not to love your Self when you are using your unique gifts and talents, doing what makes you happiest, and living with a purpose.

Loving your Self will always be a work in progress, but finding the most authentic version of your Self and living your authentic life is one way to move closer to operating from a frequency of love and being able to love everyone.

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See you tomorrow and keep pursuing,

JC